Goose the Blog 2.0

"Oh, ha! Sarcasm: The last refuge of sons of bitches!"


the return of: Friday Funtime Follies!

by John at 7/29/2005 12:06:00 PM

Long time readers of GtB probably remember our hilarious and well-received series, "Friday Funtime Follies!" which was suspended pending review by the editorial board, oh, it seems like years ago. Lately, however, we have been getting thousands of emails from literally all over the world demanding the return of "Friday Funtime Follies!" and frankly, not even our stodgy editorial board can resist such a powerful groundswell of grassroots support.

So, without further ado, we bring you (hold your applause please), the Friday Funtime Follies for July 29, 2005:

Although I Like a Good George W. Bush Joke as Much as the Next Guy, Some of Them Seem Gratuitous and Mean-Spirited

Haha! Take that, partisan Republicans!


more. free. stuff.

by John at 7/28/2005 09:29:00 AM

If you are like me (probably not) you enjoy Michael Palin's television travel series. Now, the books accompanying the shows are online, and they are free! The format is a little awkward, in that relevant photographs are not linked from the "book" (although the relevant page is linked from the photograph) but what the heck - pretend you are actually reading a book and keep having to turn to the color plates in the center. (via Boing Boing)

Read from "80 Days" to "Himalaya."


film fun

by John at 7/27/2005 09:21:00 AM

The UK newspaper The Sun is running a new ad campaign for Stella Artois that features pictures with clues to many classic (or not so classic) films.

First image (19 films):

Second image (24 films):

(via theGoose - may not be suitable for work (d'ya wonder how I found this?))

I have the answers for the first one now (you can too if you visit theGoose), and the rest should be available tomorrow.


he's perfect!

by John at 7/26/2005 02:43:00 PM

Now I know why Bush picked him. The Orange Story.

When he was in junior high school, his mother was summoned to the principal's office one day. John was in trouble for throwing an orange at a newly painted wall. "It wasn't my fault," John told his mother. She asked whether he had thrown the orange. Yes, he said. And did it hit the wall? Yes, he averred, "but it's not my fault." His mother asked him how that could be. "Tommy ducked," said John. "It was never supposed to hit the wall, it was supposed to hit him in the head. It definitely," he confidently summed up, "was not my fault."

George Bush: Unwilling to accept personal responsibility even after he's been caught? Check! That's our guy, Andy. He's going to fit in just fine! Get me Judge Roberts on the phone!

Andrew Card: Right away, Mr. President.

no longer a "war" president

by John at 7/26/2005 12:30:00 PM

The Bush administration is dropping the "global war on terror" parlance for the more accurate phrase, "global struggle against violent extremism," according to the New York Times. Of course, liberals were at this place a long time ago - but it is nice to see conservatives catching up with reality.

Anyway, it is hard for me to believe this is anything more than a marketing effort by the Bush administration. With a looming decrease in troop numbers in Iraq (necessitated not by politics or American willpower, but by the fact that our Army is nearing the breaking point and simply cannot continue to stay the course in Iraq and Afganistan) and the objective loss of the "war on terror" to the terrorists (as measured by the obvious increase in the number of terror attacks and the lethality of the attacks), it is necessary that the Bush administration reframe what exactly it is we are fighting against and the tools we will use to fight. Being inerrant, they must do this in order to avoid the spectre of failure that has been haunting them for the last 18 months.


the war on terror (in a Bourne shell)

by John at 7/25/2005 08:55:00 AM

Unless you use Unix or Linux, you're probably not going to get this, but trust me, it's good and has the Yuris seal of approval (via Boing Boing).

Baxter Black

by John at 7/25/2005 08:30:00 AM

This morning driving to work, I heard Baxter Black (cowboy/poet/philosopher/large animal ex-veterinarian) talking about cows on NPR's Morning Edition. It might seem unusual for me to say this, but if you get a chance to hear some of his work or read one of his books, you should check it out. Often hilarious.

P.S. I once rode a horse named (!) Baxter Black black horse named (!) Baxter near Santa Barbara. ("Like Baxter Black?" I asked. "Ayup," said the cowboy.)

P.P.S. I once met (!) Baxter Black.

P.P.P.S. I know that a bunch of terrible stuff happened over the last few days, but since I'm coming off a nice four day weekend spent with my family, I'm pretending I haven't heard about any of it.


who's that guy with the big head?

by John at 7/18/2005 03:55:00 PM



freedom is on the march in Iraq

by John at 7/16/2005 02:03:00 PM

So watch out for those jackboots, or you might get stepped on. An Iraqi blogger has been arrested by the new mukhabarat, apparently for things he had written that were critical of the new government.

Link 1, Link 2, Link 3.


and the willful ignorance doesn't stop

by John at 7/14/2005 01:12:00 PM

Knight Ridder's Baghdad Chief Replies to Criticism From Back Home (via Tom Tomorrow)

been thinking

by John at 7/14/2005 12:59:00 PM

A couple of nights ago, to my chagrin, we were watching the pre-game show for the MLB All-Star Game.

At one point, they decided to play "God Save The Queen" and have a moment of silence (I'm not sure it really qualifies as "a moment" - it was very brief, more like a pause to take a breath before continuing to jabber inanely) for the people killed last week in the terrorist bombings in London.

I made some quiet, smart-ass comment to my wife about the number of Iraqi dead, and wondered why we didn't give them a moment or two (or thirty five).

Well, hell, I know why. They are a different color, speak a different language, and worship a different prophet than us. More important than even that, their deaths have to remain unspoken so we can continue to justify the terrible things we do. "Freedom isn't free," they say over and over again. And they are right, unless you are an American warhawk - in which case it is probably someone else's kid getting blown up, and you are fighting the whole war on a loan your grandkids will still be paying. And even if we can fool ourselves into believing that the real reason we are dying and killing in Iraq is liberation, and not the WMDs, or the unshakable connection Saddam Hussein had to international terrorism, or our desperate thirst for petroleum products and the requirements of stability in the Middle East and a non-Saudi toehold in the oil-rich region, shouldn't we, at the very least, have asked the Iraqis if the price was too high and if they still wanted it even if the only color it comes in is blood-red before we delivered the product and gave them the bill?

So now I'm rambling. Anyway, James Wolcott has some similar thoughts in his Vanity Fair column, "To Live and Die in Iraq"

...of the liberated, occupied, afflicted, battered-to-despair Iraqi people, Americans see and hear and, worst of all, care almost nothing. The Iraqis might as well be digitized extras in a Hollywood epic, scurrying in the wide-screen background and being massacred en masse as some tanned specimen of all-American man-steak is heroically positioned in the foreground, giving orders to the lesser-paid stars in his squad as if he had just teleported in from the Battle of Thermopylae. Apart from an occasional dispatch (such as a CNN report on May 13), the ongoing agony of the Iraqi people is the huge, tragic unmentionable in the televised war coverage... It doesn't seem to dawn on our pundits and leaders that when two dozen Iraqi police recruits are murdered by a car bomb it sends a shock wave through entire communities, leaving untold grieving widows, parents, siblings, children, friends, and co-workers behind to nurse their pain and rage. Imagine the impact it would have if 50 police or army recruits were wiped out over the course of a week in this country. Now imagine 50 dying every single week with no relief in sight and tell me the U.S. wouldn't be suffering a national nervous breakdown. But the Iraqi dead are discounted as the Price of Democracy. If Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Rice harbored any semblance of shame beneath their aluminum-foil Vulcan armor, they would fall to their knees to express sorrow and beg forgiveness from the Iraqi people, even though Cheney might need help rising to his feet again. But of course they never will.

They never will. America never will.


Oppression abroad

by MarkJumblie at 7/13/2005 02:14:00 PM

6,500 Hmong refugees are stranded in the Petchabun province. They are being denied medical care and Thai nationals are fined and/or imprisoned if they help these refugees. The Royal Thai government is officially trying to force repatriation to Laos, where they will be most likely killed by the Lao PDR.
The Hmong do not want to return to Laos, because they fear persecution by the communist government because of their Vietnam War-era ties to the CIA in the United States.

My brother's wife is of the Hmong clan, so this news has special resonance. In fact, her father was a general in Vietnam during the war and was killed while fighting on the side of the U.S. Her family lived as refugees in Thailand for many years before being granted asylum in the U.S. and were moved to Minneapolis.

Do you think the U.S. has an obligation to help out these new refugees?


free fall dog

by John at 7/12/2005 08:52:00 AM

Remember the zero gravity cat? Here's a video of a dog in free fall aboard a small private plane.


TiVos are go!

by John at 7/11/2005 01:25:00 PM

Guns, Germs, and Steel, the TV show (!) debuts on PBS tonight in many cities. John Bob says, "Check it out!"


by Yuris at 7/11/2005 10:44:00 AM

On a totally unrelated but old subject-- movies.
Have you seen "Primer" ?

"PRIMER is set in the industrial park/suburban tract-home fringes of an unnamed contemporary city where two young engineers, Abe and Aaron, are members of a small group of men who work by day for a large corporation while conducting extracurricular experiments on their own time in a garage. While tweaking their current project, a device that reduces the apparent mass of any object placed inside it by blocking gravitational pull, they accidentally discover that it has some highly unexpected capabilities--ones that could enable them to do and to have seemingly anything they want. Taking advantage of this unique opportunity is the first challenge they face. Dealing with the consequences is the next."
from the Official website (

“Fascinatingly obtuse. Unfolds in the manner of Robert Altman or Stanley Kubrick. PRIMER is a sci-fi film that can play convincingly even to a theoretical physicist.” -- Cinefantastique.


just another day in Iraq

by John at 7/07/2005 08:44:00 AM

Only today it's London.

Update: Sources say the unofficial casualty count is more than 40 dead and 300 wounded.


a day late

by John at 7/05/2005 06:24:00 PM

What's more boring than other people's vacation photos? That's right - other people's baby photos. In today's photo, you can see Elias with Wendy, sporting his fiesty Fourth of July outfit. If you look closely, you can see a giraffe eating an American flag on it. Our little dissident.