Goose the Blog 2.0

"Oh, ha! Sarcasm: The last refuge of sons of bitches!"

Zoos Gone Wild!

by Bill at 8/31/2004 10:04:00 PM

Or: Another good reasons For Bike Locks!

Or: What About The Children?

From the bbc news
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Blogger John said at 9:18 AM

It was Helen Lovejoy.

That episode also has one of my favorite Simpson exchanges:

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

The mail arrives.

Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.
[opens it up]
Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!
Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.
Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
Lisa: That's home-_owner_ tax.
Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.    



Blogger John said at 9:24 AM

And I forgot my favorite part of the story:

"Spectacled bears eat both vegetables and meat but children tend not to be on their menu," he said.

"I'd have been a lot more worried if one of our polar bears had escaped," he added.

Because children are on the menu for polar bears.    



Blogger Bill said at 11:51 AM

Don't forget the chant Homer picked up from the mustache parade, "We're here. We're queer, and we don't want no bears!"    



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