happy inauguration day
by John at 1/20/2005 11:12:00 AM
Mr. President,
Happy inauguration day! Today is the day we celebrate the peaceful transfer of power from you to, er, you. Congratulations on being the Leader of the Free WorldTM, chosen by JesusTM himself through the will of the good Christian people of the United States of America®. Democracy is a Good ThingTM.
I was thinking about your inauguration this morning, and how its $50 million cost (not counting security) was paid for by private and corporate donors who just want to show their support and wish you well. And then I was thinking about that war we are fighting over in Iraq, and how a lot of the vehicles our soldiers are driving aren't properly armored and some soldiers don't have effective body armor to protect them from bullets and shrapnel from IEDs. Also, I was thinking about how that war costs us taxpayers about $110,000 per minute (well, really, it costs future taxpayers $110,000 per minute plus interest, since we really don't collect enough taxes nowadays to afford a war this big and we have to borrow most of it).
Anyway, like it sometimes happens, putting these thoughts together gave me a pretty good idea, and I bet you can guess where I'm going with this. Why not sell Operation Iraqi FreedomTM sponsorships to corporations and wealthy private donors? What better way could there be for them to show that they support the USA® as much as they support you? I can see it now: McDonald'sTM brand armored Humvees® patrolling the streets of Mosul; The Battle for FallujahTM, brought to you by StaplesTM - that was easyTM; Interceptor Body Armor® by DuPontTM Kevlar® (Can you picture the bright red DuPontTM oval over the heart of every Marine®? I can!). We can cut costs, spread the American values of coporatism and consumerism to freedom-loving Iraqis everywhere, and provide good advertising value for our sponsors on nightly news programs and newspaper front pages around the world at the same time.
So, today is busy, I know, but you should think about it. Ask "Turdblossom" - I bet he likes the idea.
Sincerely,
John B., Ph.D.
P.S. Don't worry - just like Condi, remember?
Happy inauguration day! Today is the day we celebrate the peaceful transfer of power from you to, er, you. Congratulations on being the Leader of the Free WorldTM, chosen by JesusTM himself through the will of the good Christian people of the United States of America®. Democracy is a Good ThingTM.
I was thinking about your inauguration this morning, and how its $50 million cost (not counting security) was paid for by private and corporate donors who just want to show their support and wish you well. And then I was thinking about that war we are fighting over in Iraq, and how a lot of the vehicles our soldiers are driving aren't properly armored and some soldiers don't have effective body armor to protect them from bullets and shrapnel from IEDs. Also, I was thinking about how that war costs us taxpayers about $110,000 per minute (well, really, it costs future taxpayers $110,000 per minute plus interest, since we really don't collect enough taxes nowadays to afford a war this big and we have to borrow most of it).
Anyway, like it sometimes happens, putting these thoughts together gave me a pretty good idea, and I bet you can guess where I'm going with this. Why not sell Operation Iraqi FreedomTM sponsorships to corporations and wealthy private donors? What better way could there be for them to show that they support the USA® as much as they support you? I can see it now: McDonald'sTM brand armored Humvees® patrolling the streets of Mosul; The Battle for FallujahTM, brought to you by StaplesTM - that was easyTM; Interceptor Body Armor® by DuPontTM Kevlar® (Can you picture the bright red DuPontTM oval over the heart of every Marine®? I can!). We can cut costs, spread the American values of coporatism and consumerism to freedom-loving Iraqis everywhere, and provide good advertising value for our sponsors on nightly news programs and newspaper front pages around the world at the same time.
So, today is busy, I know, but you should think about it. Ask "Turdblossom" - I bet he likes the idea.
Sincerely,
John B., Ph.D.
P.S. Don't worry - just like Condi, remember?
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